Having a Tough Time

When I feel down, as I do today, it feels like I am always down.  A perpetual Eeyore who brings nothing but darkness and misery to those around me.

I know that is not true.

But, there is a struggle sometimes to accept that.  I think that in general, people want to feel a connection with other people.  The advancement of technology has really taken that away from us. Though, as someone who is socially awkward, there is a freedom of coming from behind the keyboard.  I don’t have to worry too much about what to say because I can backspace anything that comes out sounding weird.  I can write several drafts and choose the best version to put out there.  I can take 22 pictures and post only the one that my face looks thinnest and my hair is perfectly in place.

Or I can be me.

The real me.  Not the me that goes to work everyday and play-acts the part of successful and competent leader.  The me who is uncertain.  The me who struggles with anxiety, who feels the effects of depression even though she has so much joy.  The me who wonders if this is what the universe wants her to do.  The me who wonders if she is living her true potential, or living a lie.

I need to know that you know that person too.   The person who will cry tonight, then sleep in exhaustion and wake up tomorrow feeling more human than today.  I need to remember that it’s okay to be imperfect.  Tonight I may cry until I am exhausted, snuggle with my puppies and I will sleep.

And tomorrow, it will be a new day.

 

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